The Future You want is found in forgiveness
A real conversation about the power of forgiveness in our lives, and how it paves the way for the future we so deeply long for.
By THE CRUISIN CALIFORNIAN
“The tragedy of man is what dies inside himself while he is still living.”
-Albert Schweitzer
I have worked hard this year to seek abundant life. I don’t want to be alive in the physical sense but wreak of death from the inside-out. But to truly experience fullness of life requires a willingness to seek healing from all that kills dreams, passions, and hope.
So, I have spent a lot of time this year working through brokenness and hurt. Most recently, this process has looked like intentional prayers of forgiveness.
The importance of forgiving those who have caused hurt in our lives is well documented in both the medical and psychological sciences. Doctors have discovered that our bodies release cortisol when we replay offenses and hold tight to resentment. And cortisol, most commonly referred to as the stress hormone, has destructive implications for our physical health when continuously and repeatedly released.
We now know that practicing forgivingness can literally lower our blood pressure and improve our outlook on life. It truly has the power to improve the overall functioning of our brains and bodies.
The challenge with forgiveness though, is that it can also leave us feeling vulnerable. Resentment and bitterness are powerful shields. Grudges are a strong fortress. These feelings sell themselves as our greatest protectors, leading us to believe we can prevent future pain.
The cast is temporarily beneficial. It ensures my arm heals properly. But there are also limitations it puts on my life. I can no longer climb trees or hold the swing chains. I am unable to go swimming or play on the bars at recess.
The cast sets restrictions that I never asked for or wanted. It impacts all the things I love doing. It was meant to immobilize my arm, not my life. And that is why the cast was never meant to be permanent.
Nor was the hurt that I experienced.
For too long I have used resentment and bitterness to fashion a makeshift cast. Instead of allowing my heart to heal and doing the work to regain strength, I wrapped it up and left it crippled. All the feelings I carry around to protect myself from hurt have just limited my life and left me longing for something more.
Fullness of life is healing. It’s getting the cast off and doing all those things I love, without hesitation or limitation.
And the reality is, it is totally possible that I could break my arm again. I could break it going off another questionable bike ramp, or falling off the monkey bars, or tripping over something in the house.
There is no denying the fact that when I let go of my pretend shield and tear down the fortress by choosing forgiveness, it is completely possible that someone else will come along and hurt me. In fact, it is almost a guarantee.
But when I look back, I would rather see years of wild adventures interrupted by a couple broken arms that healed, than a lifetime limited by the anticipation of brokenness.
Sometimes I look at the healed places of my life and want the cast back. It is so easy to start thinking about the pain I endured and want to protect myself. But the cast, like our feelings of unforgiveness, provide a false sense of security.
When we heal, we grow stronger. We learn more about our bodies and minds. We try new ways of doing things and take challenges head on. We navigate the world better and become more confident in our decisions. We trust that we can do hard things.
I don’t want to sit inside holding tight to my cast while looking out the window at my friends riding around truly living. I will brave the brokenness and choose forgiveness, for there is life inside my body that is meant to be lived.
Choose life. Choose forgiveness.